Mistrals and Siroccos
by Sour Schuyler
Summary: [giftfic] Mokuba is shocked to learn of his brother's crazy, asinine girlfriend. And he really wants that hole in the wall fixed. Turns out the weirdest romances come from the weirdest classroom, with the most bizarre teacher. KaibaOC Happy birthday Kat!
1. Mokuba

Although many people would not have guessed it, Mokuba worried about his brother a lot. And not just about his safety, his company, his love for him. (Not that way, folks. If you read the summary, this is a KaibaxOC fic.) Mokuba also worried about his brother's future. Seto Kaiba was so cold, even his younger brother could admit. It was a crying shame, really. Seto, being rich, could've made someone happy. But, if he kept on this way, how would he get a girlfriend, get married, have kids? Mokuba had _always _wanted to be an uncle. But his brother had never had a girlfriend, or even been friends with a girl, unless you counted Pegasus, which Mokuba didn't. Well, not really. It kind of depended on the context.

It wasn't as if girls hadn't tried. Rich girls, slutty girls, fat girls, girls with strange diseases and that one girl with purple skin, who swore that she would go away and leave Kaiba alone if only he would let her have his babies. Kaiba had just shunned them all away (turning the last one over to the MIB). Kaiba was an aloof person. He didn't open up to people well _at all. _Sure, he was obscenely rich and decently handsome – yeah, no one could/can deny it, least of all you – but the fact that he was a celibate, coldhearted git still remained. This turned all of the other girls off, at least the ones that _weren't_ lusty idiots. (There was a surprising dearth of girls that weren't lusty idiots, however, as soon became apparent.)

This is why he was so shocked when he came home one afternoon to find his elder brother, _the _Seto Kaiba, playing _Mokuba's video games _with a_ girl _(and this time Mokuba was sure it was a girl). Especially with one who had lilac colored hair. Or maybe it was the fact that she was hefting a huge yellow mallet and defying the laws of physics at the same time that Mokuba found the most shocking.

Maybe it was the fact that there was a suspiciously neat, suspiciously square, suspiciously 30' x 30', 30' x 30' hole in the side of their living room, as well.


	2. Ben Nen

Disclaimer: All you really need to know is, I own Bennen and two of the students. I do not own Terra. Terra is an original character made up by MAIDEN OF TIME AND SPACE and thusly belongs to her. I have MAIDEN OF TIME AND SPACE's express permission to use this character for her birthday fan fiction. Thanks, Kat-chan! Also, I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh or anything else!

This chapter was pre-read (you could say beta'd, you could say edited, but they really didn't change anything) by my friend Ashlee and her friend Curtis. Akio the Dragon Master (who's fics, by the way, rock) helped with the seating chart! And my friend who moved to Virginia, Brianna, helped me with some information. Thanks to all of y'all! (TWAS ALL FOR YOU KAT! WELL, NOT REALLY, BUT THINK THAT ANYWAY, 'KAY?)

Kat-chan : I am? I mean, yes, of course I am! It's so cool that we've stayed pen pals this long! All because of one e-mail! Thanks for sending that e-mail forever ago, Kat! (hugs you) I'm so sowwwwwwwwwy that the first chapter was soooooo showt! (frowns/pouts) But this one is much longer! It's like, five times as long! Hooray! (throws confetti around)

Phoenix of the Sea (Too lazy to sign in): The mallet... the mallet... Yes, mallets. I think I've been thinking too much about slapstick comedy lately. I blame Super Smash Brothers. Your review made me nearly fall out of my chair laughing, because of your cream saver comment. (I actually don't like cream savers all that much, but my sister's crazy about 'em.)

Mr. Nen was one of those people who thought stand-up comedy was a lot easier than it truly was. However, he didn't just think it; he believed it. The man had a large, goofy smile, large ears, and dressed so garishly that it would put Magnum to shame. His full name was Ben Nen. His first name had been Hiroto or Ninochi or something else originally, but, starstruck, had changed it to something with more glitz. Besides, it was funnier that way. His students called him Bennen-sensei. He was, quite frankly, a total nutso. His class was fun because he had a weird way of doing things, but everyone came out his classroom smarter than they had gone in. (He had taught his students that this was an example of a paradox and that they were only imagining getting smarter; he said that they were smart all along!)

"LAAADIES AND GENTLEMAN!" he screeched into an imaginary microphone. It was his normal way of doing things. "WE HAVE A NEW STUDENT TODAY!"

The classroom erupted into applause. Again, this was not only normal, but perfunctory.

Outside the classroom, Terra Clemency was sweat dropping. "I wonder if I'm in the wrong room."

"HEEEERE she comes! Terra Clemency!"

Bennen inclined his head towards the door, a large smile on his face. "Terra?" he called out, inviting her in the fashion of a talk show host. _Oprah _was the class's favorite show, after all. They had done a survey in the beginning of the year.

"_Shimatta(1),_" she muttered. She tugged slightly on her lilac ponytail. That's not to say the ponytail-holder was lilac… her hair was lilac. She opened the door and went in.

For anybody who has never had the "pleasure" of having to move in the middle of the school year, here is what generally happens: The first thing you do is stand behind the door while the teacher finishes saying "we've got a new student, bla-ba-dee-blee-bla" to the class and gets some papers from his or her desk; then, you enter the room and look at the teacher and pretend to be listening as they greet you and tell you "what the class is working on now"; while the teacher talks to you, you get a scope on the classroom. Terra's gaze ran shifty circles all over the room. She finally noticed it – her classmates were weird lookin' fellas.

The first row alone had a guy with three nose piercings and a tattooed American flag on the side of his face, a blonde ruffian, a teenager with WHITE hair, and a girl who kept brushing, and brushing, and brushing, and brushing her hair… That was from Terra's left to right.

The second row was occupied by a boy who was playing Solitaire with tarot cards, a brunette with huge, soulful eyes, a tiny blonde shrimp, and an empty seat.

Then came the third row. The first occupant of that row was a boy with crazy, crazy, tricolor hair, then a boy with dice earrings, then a boy with his hair done in a single spike, and then a girl with huge lips.

Fourth row had a shy-looking girl with green obviously dyed green hair, then another boy that looked like a rat, an empty seat (perhaps that person was absent?) and a small, skinny boy with light, purplish hair.

The fifth had two girls with long black hair, and two more empty seats.

There was a sixth row, but there was only one boy sitting there, at the very end of the row. He was tall, and had brown hair. He was buried in some kind of science fiction novel. Terra's eyes caught on the last member of this group.

Twenty-four desks only, yet the classroom itself was huge. It was the width of a normal classroom, but the length of about three and a half. The desks only filled up about a half of it. The ceiling was twice as high as the tallest person there. There seemed to be a mass amount of yellow gum scattered across it nonetheless. The windows were on the right, door was on the left. Teacher's desk was at the front, as was the chalkboard. Near the kid with three hair colors was a skeleton who was wearing a nametag that said, "Hi, My name is Peter Griffin!"

It was new home, sweet home. And it already seemed to suck.

Terra was surprised to see two chairs pulled out in front of the rest of the classroom. The man she assumed to be her new teacher was reclining in one of them, an empty coffee cup next to him on the floor. Everyone could see it was empty, but they all knew that every good talk show host pretended to have coffee.(2)

Bennen almost stood up out of his seat to shake her hand, but not quite. "Hiya, sport," he said, and he motioned for her to sit down. She did so, somewhat in a daze.

"So… Terra." Bennen pretended to be looking through a list of questions. The papers were blank, everyone knew. "Where are you from?"

" New Jersey."

"Why are you here?"

"…Temporary exile from the U.S. of A." Terra tried to say it the same way she had said ' New Jersey', but ice slid into her voice like water falling from a faucet. She sounded, for a moment, evil. Whispers flew around the classroom, a conflagration of rumors already giving rise. The teacher did the rude, the crude, and the unexpected, with the suavity of Jerry Springer.

"And why is that, Terra?"

"…I accidentally set part of the white house lawn on fire."

The classroom erupted into gay-sounding laughter. And by gay, we mean, Alfred Ashford gay, not Jack from Will Grace gay. Terra gulped nervously.

"With what?" laughed Bennen. "Tell us about it."

"…Gag order, sorry." Terra sweat dropped. Bennen's face lit up into a broad smile.

"Hey, we've got another kid under gag order too! Raise your hand Bakura!"

The boy with white hair in the front row groaned, but raised his hand.

"Yeah! He burned down a school!"

"And he killed a kitty!"

"He killed Kenny?" the boy with multiple piercings joked. "He's a bastard!"

The whole class laughed, mainly because they were by now trained to laugh at jokes. Alright, and maybe there was the fact that most of the guys watched South Park, and liked it. To be honest, most of the girls either frowned or went, "Awwwwwwwwwwwww!"

The boy named Bakura sweat dropped heavily and tried to maintain a happy face. Terra had a feeling he was searching for his happy place. Well, good luck to him.

Amidst all of this, the teacher turned to her. "And I'm Mr. Nen," he introduced himself again with another handshake. His handshake was all over the place, and seemed to measure a 2 on the Richter scale. "But my first name is Ben!" he cracked. "As you can see, it's a pretty empty classroom, but the old witch from down the hall sneaks into our classroom at night and steals our desks, so we don't have all that many anymore. But you can sit…" Bennen licked his pointer finger, and cocked his hand like a loaded gun. "Nyeh… there!" If Bennen had been holding a gun, he would have just shot Terra's new desk.

(1) Japanese. A very polite way of saying _shoot, _usually translated as … er… "vulgar animal dung."

(2) This is sooooooo true! At summer camp I took a Journalism class, and we made an infomercial. We really did pretend to drink coffee like this!


	3. Hanasaki

This chapter was co-authored in parts by Akio the Dragon Master, whose fan fictions, I still insist, rock da howz yo. (Man, look! Now I sound like Vincent!)

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. I do own Jake, one of the other students, and Bennen-sensei. TERRA IS NOT MY CHARACTER. TERRA BELONGS TO maiden of time and space, AND SHE SAID I COULD USE HER, SO THERE. :p She's actually not in this chapter a lot, though.

THIS CHAPTER IS DEDICATED TO HANASAKI-CHAN! WHO SHOULD BE IN A LOT MORE FAN FICS! I MEAN, COME ON! HE'S SO CUTE, IN A FRAIL, FRAGILE, "GET OVER HERE AND BEAT ME UP" WAY!

So this is for him.

Hanasaki was a poor, poor kid.

Never mind the fact that he was as short (if not shortER) than Yugi Motou, who was known in some skeevy shadows of the hallway as "the Dwarf".

Never mind that he got beat up on an even more regular basis than "the Dwarf".

Never mind that he didn't have a girlfriend. Never mind ANY of that. It was his seating position which made him so poor. Hanasaki had Tristan behind him, Bakura in front of him, Tea on the side of him and then an empty desk, which was now taken by Terra. Then he was surrounded by even MORE freaks if you counted the directions OTHER than the cardinal ones. Like up. Yes, "up" is a direction, and there was a HUGE wad of yellow bubblegum that was literally the size of a dinner plate. And it was only clinging to the ceiling on it's peripheral borders. The middle sagged.

Why was this bad?

Well, you're just about to find out.

Tristan threw a paper wad at the back of Hanasaki's head. "Hey!" he whispered, picking it up off the floor.

"Give it to Joey," Tristan said, warning him with a poke of his pencil that if he didn't… stuff would happen. Yes, stuff! Oh the horrors upon horrors upon horrors upon horrors upon horrors!

Hanasaki picked it up. It had come mostly unwadded after ricocheting off of the blonde midget's head.

_Joe:_

_Did you see Manon des Sources? Manon was all "nue"! (1)_

(imagine a LARGE smiley face here, and a heart above Manon's name the second time it appears)

_-Tris_

Hanasaki made a face, and then slipped the paper to Bakura. Bakura waited until Bennen's back was turned. Then, something happened that had never happened before. Bakura had been moved to the front of the classroom yesterday, for something he swore he didn't do.

"Even still," Bennen had said with a forced grin, "I'd like you to move up."

"Ooooooooooooooh!" the entire class had ohed. "For SHAME!"

The girl that Bakura had been sitting next to nearly died of denial. She named the desk next to her Bakura, and had started talking to it later that afternoon.

But still. Now Hanasaki was witnessing Bakura's bangs rise up slightly. They had a sort of bat-like appearance now. Then, as Hanasaki watched, Bakura reached over with his recently sharpened penciled clutched in his tight fist. He was aiming for Joey's neck… he readied his arm, about to stab him. Hanasaki's eyes looked like two zeros on either side of a dot/period—in other words, 0.0. He stabbed—

"Bakura?" Bennen smiled at the boy. "Do you know the answer?"

Bakura's eyes went wild. "SIXTEEN!" he yelled as he crashed to the floor. Then, muffled by the (may I note, _kitchen tile_) floor, he mumbled, "No, no, sorry, it's fourteen, isn't it? I'm so sorry." He stood up and brushed himself off. Nobody else in the classroom took particular notice of what had just happened. Bakura slipped the note to Joey surreptitiously and sat back down, smiling at Hanasaki. Hanasaki could have sworn that he had seen fangs.

"Tea," Bennen said, "what's the answer to this problem?"

Tea, ever ready, replied immediately. "Two to the square root of two. Didn't we learn this last year?"

"Shut UP!" Jake, the boy with the piercings, high-hissed/low-roared. Tea gave him The Look.

"Oh, come on Jake! I know you want to be my friend! Amiability is one of the key components of a good person! And I'm amiable, aren't I guys?" She turned around.

"YEP!" shouted somebody. H-chan thought it was Yugi. He sighed.

"See, Jake! I AM a good person! And you should be my friend because there's no reason why the whole world can't get along and surely you're not an anti-pacifist or a gangster or anything even though you DO have a tattoo and about five gold earrings and a stud and other cool stuff typical of gangsters not that I'm stereotyping," she gasped, continued, "that's cool and stuff but what do your parents think?"

Hanasaki sighed. Life next to Tea BIT CONVECTION CURRENTS.(2)

"My dad," Jake said coolly, "PICKED THIS TATTOO OUT." He added snidely, "You're such a SNOB! Like I'd ever be friends with YOU! I don't need friends!" (Jake was actually friends with most of the class, just not Tea.)

Tea looked miffed, and kind of teary. "Oh," she sniffled. "S-Sorry."

Tristan gave Hanasaki a noogie with a piece of paper. "PASS IT TO JOEY," he said loudly. Bennen-sensei did nothing. Hanasaki tried not to get too upset. He received the paper and read it, maintaining a morosely blank expression on his face. (It was kind of hard NOT to read it, as it wasn't folded or wadded or ANYTHING at all!) Then, he quietly wadded up the paper and threw it at Joey. It nailed him in the head.

"OW! OW! OW!" Joey waved his arms around wildly. "MAYDAY! MAYDAY! MAN DOOOOOOOOOOOOOWN!" Everybody laughed as Joey fell over in his seat, including the teacher. Terra blinked conf00zledly.

Joey sat up and gave a sweeping bow directed towards the whole class. Then he plopped back down in his seat, uncrumpled the note and read it as well.

_Dear bestest buddy in da WHOLE world! (We are Buds 4 eva!)_

_Joey, I'm going out with Serenity._

_Your guy, Tristan! The smarter one:P_

"WHAT?" Duke stood up and shouted. Hanasaki turned to him and raised a blonde eyebrow.

"Wait a second, Joey read the note silently! How did you know what it said?" Hanasaki demanded.

Duke stumbled over his words. "I have… uh… mental powers!"

Yugi stood up and yelled, while waving his arms around in a frenzy. "Why won't people stop stealing the Millennium Rod? It's a dangerous toy! And-"

"And ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL THAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT jazz!" Bennen sang. He snapped his fingers together twice for effect. Yugi face faulted, a sweat drop hanging on to the side of his middle spike.

"Ah… never mind then…"

"Like those toys you get free with any McDonalds' Kid's Meal purchase," Bakura mused. "Please ask the counter for toys for ages 3 and under."

"SILENCE!" Bennen demanded, throwing his arms at his side stiffly and caused his whole body to tremble slightly. "I DEMAND SILENCE SO THAT WE CAN LEARN SQUARE ROOTS!"

Terra looked at her teacher oddly. Was class ALWAYS like this? It was… dare she say it… FUN!

"Ok, Bennen-sensei, I'm sorry," Bakura apologized.

The whole class broke out into cheers again. Terra included.

(1) We watched this movie in French class today. With English subtitles. Not only did they have her bathing (from far away) in a lake at one point, but some guy sewed her hair to his breast area. With blood. And then at another point, said guy's uncle was telling him what he should look for in a good bride so they can carry on the family. He said to look for "big titz". This movie was rated PG so I'm going to assume I can tell you about it here and still keep this PG…

(2) I learned what those are in IPC (Integrated Physics 'n' Chemistry) today! And I have a test over it TOMORROW! GAAAAAAAAAAAAH!


	4. Li WHAT?

_Phoenix__ of the Sea- I wish I had a teacher like that too. I love teacher's who act goofy in the process of getting their jobs done. Ben Nen (I've decided his real name before he changed it was Hiroto) is sort of based after a mix of Jerry Springer and Drew Carey, in the body of my first fourth grade homeroom teacher, Mr. Stocker._

_Alexa.G- Your one-shots were great. I hope you're planning to extend that Kaiba one though:) I'm updating at least one chapter every day until this Saturday. Of course, all of the best chapters are coming out tomorrow! …Do not be ashamed of the sugar. It is only natural. (hugs her sugar bags, with a laurel on her head)_

_AnimeSenko- Tsk, tsk, tsk. "Exile" means to outcast and stuff. Basically the _ _USA__ threw her out. Lol. And… It is the nice Bakura. . . MOST of the time._

_Thank you to all of the reviewers, who are helping me make this special for Kat's birthday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY KAT! YOU'RE SUCH AN AWESOME FRIEND! (chokes from lack of oxygen and faints. An hour later, she rises and types this up.)_

Disclaimer: Don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. Own Jake. Own Bennen. Own she-who-will-be-named-shortly. Don't own Terra, but mah homie MAIDEN OF TIME AND SPACE said I could use her and abuse her anyway. Wow, that doesn't sound clean.

It was finally lunchtime. Terra leaned towards the girl in front of her, hoping to at least make an acquaintance. "Hiya!" she said. "I'm Terra!"

"…I know," the girl pointed out, setting down her hairbrush. Terra then noticed that she had five different types of brushes, in different sizes.

"OO ;; Uh, so what's your name?" Terra asked, scratching the back of her head and sweat dropping. The girl nodded her heads towads her, made a tiny, cutsey noise, and smiled a smile that flaunted her pearly white teeth (two or three of them were silver, actually, and one molar in the back was gold, but that's not the point).

"Li Wang," she said.

FUNF. Terra fell over with an odd whiffling noise. "Li… Li Li Li WHAT?" Terra asked. Then, in an attempt not to be rude, she added, "Errrr…. Pardon?"

Li Wang bowed her head. "Li Wang. I am pleased to make your acquaintance."

Terra felt somebody tap her on the back. She turned around to see that gorilla of a girl, the one with lips as thick as… well… anything.

"…Hey, yeah?" Terra answered.

"I'm Haidi!" the girl announced. Although her mouth opened and closed like any other, it seemed to be a black pit, with no red tongue that Terra could catch sight of.

"…Not that I look for those things," Terra whispered. Haidi punched her rather hard for a girl.

"Stop breaking the forth wall! Anyway, don't make fun of her name because it's not nice."

"I wasn't going to!" Terra almost yelled. Bennen-sensei didn't even looked back. He was writing something on the board that was starting to look suspiciously like a doodle.

_Li Wang's Xue Fang sister looks like a whore. Actually, she looks like Lucy Liu. Wait… go back to the first sentence._

Terra balled it up and chucked it at the kid with the psychotic hairdo. It hit one of his spikes dead on. The hair pierced the wad. The paper was stuck to his hair.

"O . O"

Oh yeah. This class was fun. Terra turned around. It was then she saw… HIM.

The brunette sitting peculiarly by himself earlier had been hiding behind some kind of big book on boring bullcrap. Now that she could actually see his face…


	5. Imori

_AnimeSenko- Is today soon enough? Gomen Senko-chan. (bows)_

_Phoenix__ of the Sea- So I'm gonna guess that "interesting" means you don't like chapter 3? Thanks for telling me what the highlights of Chapter 4 were. I could just IMAGINE a paper wad getting stuck on Yugi's hair… Haidi, actually, is a real girl in the anime/manga. Haidi isn't her name, but she is a Yu-Gi-Oh char. If you read the part of the manga when Ryou first comes to their school, or watch the episodes where Duke dues Joey, you will see her. She is the chubby one with the big, fat lips and the round mouth. She looks more like a walrus than a girl. Maybe she is a walrus in disguise? She would make a funny chibi. I'm glad at least one person thinks that Li Wang is funny. I liked it myself. …How do you become stuck in a WALL…?_

Happy Birthday Kat! ANIMESENKO WANTS TO WISH YOU A HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Yes, even though it was AGES ago (you're old! Lol, joking, of course... since I'm older than you! o.o; AHHH! THAT MEANS MY HAIR GOES WHITE FIRST! AAAH! (runs around in a mad frenzy with her hair unexplainably on fire)) I'm still going to say Happy B-day to you. :) Happy B-day to you! See?

Disclaimer: TERRA IS MAIDENOFTIMEANDSPACE'S CHARACTER! HOW MANY TIMES MUST I SAY THIS? I have her **_express _**permission to use and manipulate Terra for my own sadistic pleasure! **_Bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha!_** I own Bennen, Li Wang and Jake. That's it. Everything else is Kazuki Takahashi-sensei's, except for Toshio's, who is owned by the person who wrote the Grudge who also wrote the Ring.

There are lots of archetypes in this! See if you can spot 'em! Hm-hm-hm!

Here we goooooo…

Terra slowly ran towards Kaiba. Everything around her melted away to become white. She took one step. A mirror appeared next to her. In it was Toshio, his unusually gray face now frozen a stiff light blue. Suddenly, it's mouth was mouthing, and a "MEYOWWWWWWER" shook the white… funnel, thing, that she was in. It reached out with her with one arm and grabbed her. She slapped it away. Only six more steps, and the world returned. So many archetypes…(1)

"I JUST BEAT TOSHIO!" Terra yelled. She jumped on a desk and did a stomp dance.

"That was totally random," the kid next to her said.

"BUT I BEAT THE LITTLE TYKE!" Terra declared joyfully.

"Whatever," muttered the kid with purple hair sitting next to the empty desk on which she was dancing. (WHEW! That's a long sentence!) He was playing with the wrapper on some kind of box. Yugi came over and scolded him.

"Imori, my other self already saved your soul once before! Do you want it to happen again?"

"What happened?" asked Terra, not at all deterred by Yugi's strange words. Yugi sighed.

"Genius here decided he was going to take my Millennium Puzzle and become a Dark Master to overcome bullies." Yugi snorted. "I mean, really! We all have our ways, but that just sounds dumb. 'I'll be a Dark Master…' It makes him sound like Ash Ketchum." Imori scorned Yugi's words with a glare. Yugi looked up at Terra (he sort of had to, you know) and continued unmitigatedly.

"So he takes the seal off of these Dragon Cards, right?"

"DRAGONS!" shouted somebody. We don't know who.

"And apparently when you do that you have to play a Shadow Game overwise the country in which the seal was broken will be thrown into shadow or… smmat like that." Yugi shrugged. "Unless, of course, there was a soul sacrifice. I lost. Yami came and kicked butt. Imori replaced me. We saved him a day before his soul would have been completely eaten." The short boy scratched the back of his head and sweat dropped. "We would have done so earlier, but we kind of forgot about him…" Terra sweat dropped too.

"Oh! Thanks!" Imori shouted angrily. "You're such a kind friend, Yugi!"

Yugi WHIRLED about face and pressed his nose against Imori's so that he was looking STRAIGHT into his eyes. Then he opened his mouth and said…

"YOU TRIED TO **KILL** ME YOU LITTLE IDIOT! AND YOU THINK YOU'RE MY FRIEND? MASTIFF!"

"….You called him a dog?" asked the C.E.O. of KaibaCorp.

"No, I called him ugly," Yugi tried to explain. Kaiba nodded. Terra's neck made an unhealthy snapping noise as she turned towards Kaiba. She started to drool. A lot.

"I'm sssiiiiiiiiiiiinging in the rain!" sang Stewart Little, who was scrubbing his back with a toothbrush as he stood underneath Terra's Niagra Falls. "Just siiiiiiiiiiinging in the rain! What a glooooooorious feelAUGH!"

"Oops, sorry," Yugi apologized.

"EW! MOUSE NUDITY!" Tristan covered his eyes.

"How did you get him out, though?" Terra said. "Didn't you have to replace Imori's soul?"

"Meh, we took the neighbor's dog and sucked its soul out of its body." Yugi shrugged. "It tore up my grandpa's favorite overalls and ate one of my socks… Now I have 32 ½ pairs of socks!" Yugi added, more quietly, "Annoying bugger…"

"STOP RIDICULING MY ACCENT!" Ryou shouted.

"Shut up ya rummy!" Jake gibed.

"I AM NOT A DRUNK!"

"YEAH!" Bennen joined in, just to be hip. EVERYBODY shouted loudly in this classroom.

"…You two are so weird," Terra said. "You should have used the soul of the evil Spork god. Klnttkop knows my people would have been saved."

With that being said, Terra hopped off the desk, and went off to meet her love at first sight. (Insert heart shapes here. Lots of 'em. And they're PINK, too.)

(1) Archetypes. Like cliches for plots and stuff. You know, like, "the task" -- the arduous task that has to be overcome -- and character archetypes, like, "the Amazon" and "the Seductress".

Review! Or by the hairs on my chinny-chin-chin, I won't upda---GAH! There are HAIRS on my CHIN! (looks around wildly) Where's my RAZOR!


	6. Bakura

Danielle: (pretending to sip coffee while typing this, conveniently neglecting to study for her Super-Big-French-Final) Whaa? Only two reviews for Chapter 5? Peasants!

Cheesy narrator- _Suddenly!_

Joey Muse: (kicks down the door) I'm free!

Danielle: Hey, how did you get out of the muse closet?

Joey Muse: That was a closet? The door looked like licorice to me.

Danielle: U.U Oh, the effects of hunger… you should've had a Snickers.

Joey Muse: So I assume you shaved your chin?

Danielle: Yup! (proudly shows off the fact that her chin is covered in band-aids) Now on with the fic!

ilvryne: (stops dancing)

Danielle: Joey Muse! I choose you! (simulates the throwing of a Poke'ball)

Joey Muse: Right! (does some wicked-cool poses, before sobering up and saying, in a boring, monotonous voice) _Sour Schuyler has MAIDEN OF TIME AND SPACE's express permission to use her character, Terra, and everything else belongs to Kazuki Takahashi, unless otherwise stated, and that excludes the plot…_

The perfect silence was broken only by the percolating of coffee in the corner. Seto Kaiba didn't even like coffee, but he felt that if you were a C.E.O., you should at least pretend that you do. It was a bigshot thing to do, like beating Resident Evil.

Terra strolled up to him. "You have your own coffee machine in the classroom?" she asked in awe. Kaiba ignored her. "Helllooo?"

Terra pressed her forehead against Kaiba's. He still chose to ignore her, deeply absorbed in his science fiction/fantasy novel

"My favorite book is _Snot Stew_!" Terra cooed. Kaiba didn't do anything. It was as if he was immune to the world around him.

"Soo, do you like sports?"

No response.

"Do you NOT like sports?"

Kaiba was still silent. He flipped the page of his book.

"How 'BOUT them Lakers?"(1)

No response.

"I can't taste salt."(2)

Still nothing. Terra was considering the fact that maybe, just maybe, she was talking to a cardboard dummy, when she realized that the entire class was now doing the Twist, being led by Bennen-sensei.

"Round and round and up and down we goooooo again!" Bennen-sensei sang, sounding a heckuva lot like Chubby Checker. (3)

"Kaiba!" Bennen-sensei shouted. "This is for a graaaaaaaade!"

Kaiba snorted. "I don't twist."

"Gasp!" The entire class stopped at the same time. "You don't twist?" they asked in unison. "Why, everybody does the twist! Yeaaaaaaaah!"

Kaiba sweat dropped. "Morons."

"Come on everybody!" Bennen-sensei sang. Just then, something near Bakura's desk exploded. Terra looked at Bakura, whose hair seemed just a tad spikier than before.

"He he he," Bakura cackled lowly. Poor Hanasaki looked about ready to cry, he had been scared so bad.

"Settle down!" Bennen-sensei demanded, banging a gavel on the remains of Bakura's desk. Even after everybody started to head back to their seats, he still bopped the charred desk with the gavel. _Bang, bang, bang. _The rest of Bakura's desk desintegrated.

Li Wong scowled at Bakura as she gracefuly side-saddled her chair. This mean-spirited facial gesture distorted her beauty, making some guy in the book _Dracula_ whose name is Arthur cry. Li Wang's creamy, flawless skin was becoming pink with anger, and her large, purple eyes flashed a furious green color.

Of course, once she spotted her hair brushes, she squealed, and immediately picked one of them up and began brushing, quietly humming a song by Ayumi Hamasaki to herself.

"La la la la,LA la la, LA la la, la la LA la la la la…" she sang lowly, brushing her long raven tresses. "La la la la, LA la la, LA la la, la la LA la la la la…"(4)

Bakura's ears seemed to droop like the petals of a flower after Scooby Doo let one rip in the vicinity. Everyone was groaning in disappointment with him as they made their way back to their seats, including Terra, who didn't understand why everybody was making noise, but wanted to fit in. She was anxious to speak to the Cutie again.

Bakura sunk into his assigned seat and held up a textbook to hide his reddening face. The textbook was called _The Human Body._

"Pervert," Li Wang snarled. Bakura let the book drop and sighed, holding his head with his hands. School life had been like this for him for awhile now, and he would never, ever get used to it. Worst of all, Yugi, Tristan, Joey, and Tea never acted as if they knew why Bakura did the things he did. They seemed just as angry with him as everyone else. Some friends.

"Ok, class," Bennen-sensei said, "now, last week I assigned you your Exploratory Language homework. You were supposed to master three years of French."

Terra's eyes bugged out and fell onto the floor.

"Here," Hanasaki said. He scooped them up and handed them to her.

"Gee, thanks!" said Terra. She wiped them off with a hankerchief before placing them back into her head.

"Um, you put them in backwards," Hanasaki pointed out.

"WHOA!" Terra screamed suddenly. "I can see my BRAIN!"

Everybody in the room started clapping like a crazy fool. "Huzzah!" shouted Yugi, "Huzzah!"

"Now, everybody must come up here and say one thing that they are required to do at home, as in chores, and say how it's important and whatnot, using the subjunctive mood at least once. We only have three people left to present. So, let's get started." Bennen-sensei took out a clipboard and looked ready to actually take down grades. " Gardner, Tea?"

(You're just going to have to use an online translator for this. It's not going to have any major effect in the story, except for one thing that Yugi says. Oh, and merci beaucoup to Blind Craze, who helped me edit these French parts.)

Tea stood up gracefully. "Chaque jour, je dois faire la cusine pour ma famille ingrat. Mon père dit que c'est essential qu'on mange du plastique avec ses repas. C'ést delicieux actuellement!" Tea rubbed her stomach and ended her speech with, " Campbell's! It's Mm-mm good!"

"Good…" Bennen-sensei looked as if he didn't understand a word she had said. "Motou, Yugi?"

Yugi stood up, looking quite pissed. "Chaque jour je nettoie le parquet. C'est pas terrible que je le nettoie, mais c'est que je hais, c'est mon grand-père quand il regarde mon derrière!"

Tea's eyes glowed a demonic red. She ripped up a paper she had been holding in her hands, one that had been decorated with hearts and rainbows and butterflies. She looked about ready to kill.

"Wheeler, Joey."

"Chaque jour c'est important que je grignote entre les repas!"

"Er, of course it is," Bennen-sensei said.

Just then, the bell rang. "Okay, blpbpbpbkla—that's all folks!" Bennen-sensei took off a hat he hadn't been wearing before and bowed deeply to the crowd. The class erupted into cheers of "Toro, Toro!" and "Yeaaaaaaaaah!"

And thus ended Terra's first day at Domino High School. She'd beaten the snot out of Toshio, decided that she hated the girls around her, crushed on the coldest blowhard Domino High had ever known, and she'd had her fifteen minutes of fame at the front of the classroom.

Tomorrow could only bring good things.

"Don't forget tomorrow is show and tell, class!" Bennen-sensei shouted.

"Aren't we a little old for show and tell?" Li Wang sighed. Bakura assured her that he wouldn't bring anything dangerous this time. Li Wang smiled at him and Bakura melted.

Bennen-sensei made the whole class pay money to be let out of the room.

(1) Something that my pal Chance says every "chance" he gets. Actually, the phrase "How 'BOUT them" is just totally his. He pwns it.

(2) A quote taken from Family Guy. Meg said this when she was trying to get the attention of Kevin, her hot new neighbor.

(3) Inventor of the Twist. Also known by some as God.

(4) No, she's not just singing random notes. That's actually the beginning of one of Ayumi Hamasaki's bee-yoo-ti-ful songs. I should know. I have her CD _Memorial Address. _BE envious of me. (looks smug)

Ok, so, I think this is the longest chapter so far, but I'm not sure. Five motherskippin' pages. Yip-dee-doo. This chapter was so dumb. I can do better. Seriously, I am so sorry. This chapter is such a horrible, jumbled mess.

…

Please review! (bows)

_Akio the Dragon Master- School influences my writing, sadly. Is it supposed to do that? O.o;_

_maizyfan11- (also known as ashlee!) Watch out for those exclamation marks. You never know when they're gon' getcha! Hopefully during the summer I'll remember to give you the link to this again and you can read the rest._

_ilvryne- dance, slave, dance! Muahahaha! Nah. See, I updated. Go and have a coffee break. :)_


	7. Rosemary

**Once again! An update! Kat's birthday is coming up, so I figgered I'd update this once again, since it was originally a birthday-fic for her… that I just never happened to finish. Heh. Heh. Sorry Kat-chan! But you know what this means? Since this was started two years ago… we've been penpals for over TWO YEARS! So let's celebrate that. **

**Dedicated to Kat!  
****I don't own Terra; Kat does.  
****But Kat says I can use her! So there:P  
****But I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. :(  
****But I ordered a rap CD online that'll be arriving soon…  
****So I guess I'll own that:)  
****Oh, and I guess I own Rosemary!  
****So props for me.**

**I had a "real" chapter 7, but I switched it with this just now. Chapter 7 is almost finished, though, and should be coming up soon!**

Thirty-year-old Rosemary was just as startled as her young master was. When Mokuba had come not in, but near, her quarters and announced that his brother, _his brother, _had a girlfriend, Rosemary had nearly dropped the bottle of perfume she was so delicately applying. She sprayed the air one last time, then waltzed through the falling aroma so that it would cling to her. Then she exited the hallway and earnestly implored Mokuba to do go on.

After he'd told her they'd both snuck down the hallways, feeling like stealthy ninjas even though there was no need for stealth at all. They peeked once more into the large den where Seto was proclaiming himself the winner of Mokuba's video game, and bragging about how great he was. The girl with the lily-colored hair gazed up at him with wide eyes, nodding occasionally, drinking in every word. What a fangirl. So why was this girl different?

Rosemary turned around, shaking her head. She had thought that Seto would take _forever _find a girlfriend, and she had suspected that when he did find one she would be rich, and/or organized, and/or other things that were like Master Seto himself. But other than the fact that they had their hair color in common (Seto's hair had once also been a lovely shade of booger green), she didn't seem anything like him. And for some reason there was a gigantic hole in the wall!

Now, Rosemary was just the maid, but she'd been a maid at the Kaiba brothers' manse for a few years, and she knew her employers pretty well. And up until today, if someone had implied that Seto's reaction to a giant hole in his wall would be to play his little brother's video games with a green-haired girl, Rosemary would've thought that person was berserk. But there the hole was… and there Seto was… and there _she _was…

Had _she_ made that hole?

Why in the world would Seto date a girl that would make a _hole _in the wall? What could this girl possibly have that appealed to Master Seto?

**Review, review, review review review! Doot doo doo  
****Review, review, review review review! Doot doo doo DOO DOO,  
****Doot doo doo doot doo doo… _/gets carried away saying this to classical music/ _Review review review… **


	8. Yugi?

**Ok, that last chapter… blah. Short, I know. I'm so sorry. (smiles and introduce THIS chapter) So, this is the REAL chapter, the one that I started two years ago, apparently, and just finished. So enjoy!**

**HAPPY BIRTHDAY KAT!!**

It was the next day. Strangely enough, Terra couldn't remember anything that had happened in-between her leaving the classroom and her arriving the next day, except that she had eaten tacos for dinner last night.

It was before class, so Terra was watching Yugi and Joey duel. Tea stood beside her, explicating the rules of the game, even though Terra had politely snapped that she already knew how to play.

"Now I summon Dark Magician Girl to the field!" Yugi said, smiling. "Since Dark Magician is also in play, she gets an attack bonus!"

"Yeah, but you forgot that you played your Dark Magician in _defense _mode, Yugi!" Joey informed him. "And since Dark Magician Girl and Dark Magician are together—"

The two cards started niftily making out.

"—his defense goes way down! And so now, Flame Swordsman, attack the Dark Magician!"

The Flame Swordsman stood, gave out a guttural cry, and ran clumsily towards the Dark Magician, chopping off the top of the magician's hat. The Dark Magician turned all glittery and stuff and then dissipated into thousand of firefly-like shards of glowing light.

The Dark Magician Girl crossed her arms and pouted cutely, the Flame Swordsman smirked, and _nobody _questioned how the holographs were working since they were just playing on two desks put together.

Bennen-sensei walked into the classroom with a spring in his step. "Howdy-doo, buckaroos," he exclaimed. He was met with acclamation and raucous cheering from Yugi, Tristan, Joey, and Tea, which ended only when he seated himself comfortably in the chair behind his desk. "Terra, may I speak with you?" he asked.

"Ooooooh," Terra's new friends, well, _ooh_ed. "Somebody's in trouuuuble," Yugi added.

Bennen-sensei waved their comments away with his hand, literally. They bounced off the way and were then absorbed into Yugi's hair. "She's not in trouble," he told them. They quieted at the non-drama, but soon grins lit up their faces as they realized this would probably _lead _to drama.

Terra approached the teacher's desk. "Did I do something wrong?" she asked, despite the fact that Bennen-sensei had _just _said that she wasn't in trouble.

Her teacher shook his head. "No, Terra, but I'm curious to know as to what you brought for show and tell?"

"Show and tell?" The words echoed hollowly in Terra's head. "Um…" She had forgotten.

"Of course," her teacher flowed on, "since you're the new student, you'll have to have something rather spectacular."

"Uh… yeah… I do," Terra promised. _Crap_, she thought.

"Well, good, because it'll be a great way for the new students to get to know… you know, _you_." Bennen gestured to indicate the profoundness of the activity known as show and tell. "Your _essence_. You know?"

Terra blinked, a bit startled that her teacher was suggesting that her quintessence could be summed up into a mere show and tell spiel. …But crazier things had happened!

It was around an hour later that class began. Why Terra, Yugi and his friends had been there so early, Terra wasn't quite sure. This class was kind of weird that way.

"We'll start the day off with show and tell," Bennen began, straightening his papers out in front of him. He looked straight ahead at him, as if he was Tom Tucker from the news. "Later on we'll learn how to insult someone in Japanese, followed by a light shower of lunch. Up next, moles: the animal, the scientific measurement, and the ugly thing on your face."

"But first it's time for the pledge!" Jake sputtered. Everyone stared at him. It was as if one of the cameramen had spoken instead of the anchor.

"…The what?" Bennen looked intrigued.

"The Pledge of Allegiance!"

Terra sweat dropped. "Uhm, we're not in Ameri—" But Jake was already up, his hand placed profoundly over his heart, and his voice swelled with meaning as he said, "I pledge allegiance, to the flag, of the United States of…"

Everyone tuned him out. Terra looked around and caught Yugi shuffling some of his Duel Monsters cards. Duke had taken his dice earrings out and was using them to play Yahtzee with Tristan. Terra turned back around, and found that Li Wang was, of course… brushing her hair.

Terra sighed. What was she going to do for Show and Tell?

"My quintessence, huh?" she murmured. She was tapped on the back by a fat finger. Terra twisted herself around.

"Hey," Heidi said. Her giant lips startled Terra, and she scooted back, shoving her desk forward just a half an inch. _Eesh _was what _almost _came out of Terra's lips, but she held her trap shut.

"H-Hey," Terra answered back weakly. _Please don't eat me, _she added silently.

"What did you bring for show and tell?" Heidi asked.

"Um… I don't know." Terra sweat dropped. Heidi's mouth turned into a giant round O of surprise. "Do you know, um, what _you're _doing for show and tell?" Terra asked. Heidi nodded vigorously. "Oh. Cool then."

Heidi opened her BIG mouth, about to tell Terra what it was, when their teacher spoke.

"So, let's get on with the Shooooow and Teeeell!" Bennen-sensei announced, pointing into the air dramatically with a huge grin plastered on his face. The students went wildly, applauding him uproariously. "And first up _iiiiis_," Bennen looked around the room for raised hands. Terra felt like she was in the audience of a Hollywood shindig, awaiting the name of the winner of the Oscar.

"Yugi!"

Yugi stood up and shuffled diffidently to the front of the room, hands shoved in his pockets. "This, um…" He scratched the back of his neck. "Sorry, but, um, I brought for show and tell… it's, um… my…"

"Deck," said many of the students at the same time as Yugi. Yugi blushed.

"_Again_," snorted a boy who was playing with Tarot Cards. Yugi looked uncomfortable.

"Um… it's a deck… and, it's uh… got cards…" Yugi sighed. He'd never been a very good public speaker. "It's got… um… Dark Magician, and um…"

"Doesn't it have Kuriboh?" a girl in the back row asked.

Yugi looked like he wanted to slide into his uniform like a turtle and never come out. "Um, it… yeah, it… It's weak, but… um…"

_Poor guy, _thought Terra.

"Um… YUGIOH!"

A serious wind kicked up, and Yugi looked up into the air and screamed. A moment later the wind died down, and there was… Yugi, looking just a little bit taller.

"THIS deck—" this new Yugi pumped his arm into the air, holding the deck out, "—is the ULTIMATE in Duel Monsters decks! It has all THREE of the Egyptian God Monsters, a DARK MAGICIAN, aaaaand a Dark Magician Girl!"

"Woo woo," said Joey. Tristan sniggered.

"It ALSO has a Mystical Elf, and, I'm not ashamed to say, KURIBOH! Because it isn't the size of the monster, it's its HEART! Also—"

"I'm sorry, but you're out of time," Bennen-sensei said, cutting Yugi off just as he said something that needed further explanation. Just like Bill O'Reilly.(1)

"But I—" Yugi suddenly seemed to physically shrink, although his clothes fit him just the same. He blushed. "I mean… the, uh… Kuriboh is, um…" The boy with tri-colored hair looked like he wanted to disappear or turn invisible, something impossible since he did, after all, have tri-colored hair. He was kind of hard to miss. "I'll just sit down now," he said, looking uber-embarrassed.

"Poor Yugi," Terra could've sworn she heard the British boy mutter.

"So…" Bennen-sensei smiled at his students as Yugi slid into his seat, muttering angrily to himself. "Who's next?"

(1) Sorry, but I'm not a fan of the No Spin Zone. …But my mom is. O.O Which is why we have a No Spin Zone welcome mat, umbrella, and matching coffee mugs. Darn it all.


End file.
